Hello by way of Goodbye

Listen, I don't want to lead you on anymore. We're just going in opposite directions right now. We're doing different things. I have this blog now... and we're happy together.
Come on, don't be like that. We had some good times, right? All those pictures we shared together, all those funny things on the internet we posted.
It's just... you've changed. And I don't feel safe sharing my life with you.
Don't say that. I never cheated on you, not once. I've been faithful ever since we got together four years ago. I didn't even look sidelong at any of the other options. Now I've met someone new and I've seen what a healthy relationship looks like. No more pushing me to talk to old friends. No more pushing vampires or mobsters on me. I just can't go through the motions with you anymore.
Come on, we'll still see each other, just not as often. We still have the same friends, I'm not asking you to leave them too.
You'll always be special to me. You were my first. We'll always have that.
I just want to make sure you're OK before I change our status from "In a Relationship" to "Single."
I guess this is goodbye, for the time being. It's going to take a while, but I think we can still be friends.
Meanwhile, take comfort in your other 400 million friends, and just keep on keeping on, OK?

With Love (no, really),
Reese

P.S. Don't talk about Farmville so much. It gets really old really fast, and you just come off as creepy.